Knowing How to Draw the Line in a Sex Crazed CulturePayton Foeller
‘Real Marriage: The truth about sex, friendship, and life together’ by Mark and Grace Driscoll.I truly enjoyed going through the book and if I could I would make it mandatory pre-marital counseling! But as I’ve mentioned before…I’m not the center of the universe. Thus I get no say. But I do get a say on wedding shower gifts I buy! And this will now be my go to.
You can find a copy here. [Affiliate Link! Anything you buy from the link will be the SAME price as always but we will get a % to keep us up and running!]
Despite some controversy over the author, the book, and in my opinion, a lot of what Driscoll has to say is needed in our sheepish and squeamish Christian culture. We tip toe around some things that he shouts from the rooftops, and even better, the pulpit.He’s made mistakes but who hasn’t? Worship leaders make mistakes but we still love and play their songs. Pastors make mistakes but we can still learn from their teaching. As long as we measure against scripture and adjust accordingly there are not many good reasons we shouldn’t try to glean some truth from these teachers.Now, this isn’t intended to be a book review. Obviously, by the title, you probably know it’s gonna get weird in here. And as I write this I’m still not sure if I’ll actually publish it… I mean.. my mother reads this… But I think it’s something that needs to be addressed….
You wouldn’t utter the word…*ahem* porn *ahem* at the dinner table now would you? Butttttt you might discuss the latest Game of Thrones episode or that saucy new character on House of Cards. Or one of the many steamy shows that Christians gather around their tv’s to watch (the Bachelor… ladies?).I’m writing to genuinely pose a question that I can’t answer for you. And admitting that I’m guilty too.
As I mentioned at the start, we just finished the ‘Real Marriage’ study. Along with this study, there is a resource myself and others will occasionally tune into, a podcast called Sexy Marriage Radio. It’s two Christian counselors, married for several years but not to each other. They talk about anything and everything regarding sex and relationships in Christian marriage. Again, as I said with Driscoll, no human ever has or ever will get it all right. So take their teaching (as with any) with a grain of salt. They have said a few things that I don’t think would completely align with scripture, but for the most part, I would vouch for their advice.
Anyway, in one of the latest podcasts, the female co-host brings up that she and her husband enjoy spending time together ‘binge watching’ their favorite television shows. [Who doesn’t?!] Apparently, one of their favorite shows is ‘House of cards,’ a show with sexual themes and several steamy scenes (from what I hear… I wanted to watch the show but upon reading reviews decided I’d better not).
She makes the statement that when they watch it together her husband knows that sex is usually on the evening’s agenda because of something about the show just… gets her going… [Can she say that..?! Well, she did.] This coincided with the chapter in the book called ‘Can we…’ going over what’s allowed and not in the Christian marriage bed.
So really my question is.. Where’s the line? [In regards to our viewing and entertainment choices] Why are people okay with steamy ‘television’ shows that they can watch in their own home but when it comes the porn you’re down right scum if you admit to taking part in it? (Not that I’m condoning it obviously, just making a point.) We’ll brag about seeing Magic Mike with our girlfriends but we wouldn’t be caught dead with those sinners who go to strip clubs.
Where’s the line?
Obviously, people can draw a big line between the good stuff they do and the bad stuff that other people do. But I’d dare to say that the line may be a little closer to us than we’d care to admit. Is it a hard and fast rule? Or does each persons’ line fall in a different place?
Are you lusting after a show someone else doesn’t think twice about? Is there a book that may seem a little steamy to you but to another means nothing… Maybe this means the lines look a little different. I’m thinking that this might be the case. Of course, there are some definite dos and don’ts; but past those… how do we know where to draw our line? I think it’s a question people need to be asking themselves, their spouses, and maybe their accountability partners. Where’s your line, what are your convictions? Should you be watching that? Are you channeling all your energies in the right place? Can you watch ‘House of Cards’ and it not be a sin? I really don’t know…
not judging or giving advice.So, how do you find your line?
If you find you can watch Game of Thrones or Magic Mike or a thousand other things without feeling guilty or convicted why do you think that is? I’m not being sarcastic, really, I wanna know. As the podcast co-host said, she finds it helps get her … in the mood and she then directs those energies toward her husband. In her opinion this is a good and acceptable practice. Maybe that’s your opinion as well.
And once you found your line, what’s the best way to stay on your side?
Did you throw out your tv? Did it help? Were there repercussions? Do you find you struggle with legalism when it comes to minding your convictions?Whether you respond or not, keep these questions in mind.
But.. you should comment.