7 Top Tips for Surviving Month One with Baby Number OnePayton Foeller
Several friends and families have recently had tiny fresh babies and many have asked us, ‘do you remember when yours was that small!?’ And our answer has been a very sheepish.. ‘Not really..’Month one sucks okay? All newborns look like weird scrunchy faced old men. Sorry, they do. They grow out of it and no you can’t see it in the moment but wait till your kid hits a year and look back at the first few days. Bam! Old man face. They’re not super cute yet and they smell and poop and pee and cry allll the time. Month one has very few redeeming qualities. Maybe you’ll get a grin… maybe… but other than that they really don’t give you much to work with.
While our month one was a big ole blur, yours doesn’t have to be. I love this article about how postpartum practices are just insane. We pop out a kid one way or another and people expect- and a lot of times WE expect ourselves, to just be right back at it. We start cooking and cleaning with a baby stuck to us like it’s no big deal. But it’s a huge deal and you need to take some time to get back to normal. Nothing snaps back into place as quickly as you think it should. Trust me.
A while back, before my lazy stint through July I asked several of my mommy blogging friends what their best tip for surviving month one with baby one would be if they had to pick just one thing to share! I got a great variety of responses but they all came down to a few basics.
“Just roll with it and take it one day, one feeding, etc. at a time. It’s overwhelming being sleep-deprived, sore, trying to navigate breastfeeding (if you are breastfeeding). Just try to figure out the moment you’re in, grab some sleep when you can, and let everything else (like housework) fall to the wayside while you navigate the new waters of motherhood.”
–Birch Landing HomeI know it’s hard. Well my lack of clear memories from those first weeks tell me that it was probably difficult enough for me to block some of it out of my mind! Don’t beat yourself up over doing something wrong, you’ve literally never done it before!
2. Don’t forget about your spouse.
“Make time for your husband or partner. It’s so easy to neglect that relationship when trying to build a new one with your baby, but at the end of the day, you both will need each other and the familiar sense of intimacy will naturally help new parenthood feel easier. Kiss often and show more affection than you ever have before.”
– Half Way to Whole
3. Ask for Help
“The best tip I can give is, don’t be afraid to ask for help! I had a lot of difficulties breastfeeding at first, and spent several weeks stressed out before I finally went to a consultant. Wish I had gone to her on day one!”
First night with your baby in the hospital and you call your mom at 2am to see when she said she was coming back the next day… Just curious and all, no hidden motives there! Just ask.
“The best tip I have for a new mom is to accept help. I know with my first I felt a sense of pride that I needed to be the one to do everything for my baby and wouldn’t accept help. I never found the time to take care of myself. But for my second I was so ready to pass that baby off to whoever was home and willing to help so that I could take a moment to me and do the small things, like actually wear clothes that weren’t puked on.”
– Try All MamaRepeat after me…
Can I bring you… Yes!
Do you need anything.. Actually yes please!
Dinner? Yes, thank you!
Can I visit and be in your way all night and keep you from resting!? No! (That was a trick example!)
Accept help but on the same hand, know when to say no thank you to help that’s not so helpful.5. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
“My best tip for baby number one; in the summer don’t worry about the perfect outfits and accessories during the early months, a simple onesie or even life in the diaper is just fine. I remember wanting to have the baby perfectly dressed at all times, and now I wouldn’t think twice about it.”
– Indy Parent Coach
Along with the cutsie clothes I thought she had to have I’d get rid of the thought that they need to do everything just like that one baby you know. Let go of what you’ve seen and heard because mama this is a whole new ball game. All babies are different. So while it is a giant pain that your baby cries a ton and wants to nurse 24/7 it’s likely very normal.. Even if that other baby is an angel. Yours just isn’t and that’s okay. Month one will be over soon.
*obviously barring any health concerns* be cautious and always go with your gut but seriously a lot of stuff that will make you cry and want to maybe put the baby back in is probably normal so don’t panic until you have all the information*
“It sounds cliche, but nap when your baby naps. It is honestly the best thing. Make sure you only focus on the most important things – eating, clean clothes, and paper plates. You may not be able to take a nap, but you can sit and drink your cold coffee that is still in your microwave…go check…it is still in the microwave.”
– Townsend House
Like she said, it’s cliche but things become that way for a reason. Sleep when the baby sleeps and if your baby isn’t sleeping scroll up and see *ask for help* so you can get some shut eye.
I’m adding this one myself because I think it’s pretty important. Whether it’s wearing your favorite perfume, investing in some new clothes, or tightening up that hospital girdle under your favorite crop top; find something to do that you use to love and do it often. A lot is different now and the next year you’ll just keep thinking of things that you’ll never do the same way again. So find one thing to do that is the same, it just grounds you, I promise.There you have it, what would you add to your list of top tips for month one with baby one? What did we forget?